Hanging on the Telephone
by hoglee
Summary: "Quinn, Finn has proposed. I need to know, will you ever change your mind?" Quinn choked back sobs as she re-read Rachel's letter. She did still want Rachel, so much. And judging by this letter, Rachel still wanted her too. Uh-huh, 'cause you didn't already know that you big old faker, her conscious put in sardonically. Shut Up.


_You must remember this__  
__A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.__  
__The fundamental things apply__  
__As time goes by._

Quinn sang miserably along, consonants catching in the stickiness of her throat as she watched her old VHS of Casablanca.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she re-read the letter Rachel had pinned to her locker.

_Quinn,_

_Finn has proposed. I need to know, will you ever change your mind?_

Quinn thought of her mother. It took months for Judy to forgive Quinn's pregnancy, if she came out? She may have to find somewhere else to live in less than the thirty minutes that Russell had not-so-generously given her.

_Rachel's Dads would take you in, _her inner gay reminded. Would they, after all she had done to their daughter? Even after the bullying, then the messiest break- up in history that had left Rachel looking like some extra from a film about peasants in Stalinist Russia?

_Yes._

Quinn knew it was true. That was why she couldn't throw herself at their mercy: their kindness hurt too much.

_So you're going to let her marry him? _her stupid conscious quarrelled. _Just 'cause of your dumbass pride?_

"This is ridiculous" Quinn said aloud. "I don't even know if we would still want each other after all this time". The words were not convincing, even to her ears, and Quinn found herself huffing in exasperation. She did still want Rachel, so much. And judging by this letter, Rachel still wanted her too.

_Uh-huh, 'cause you didn't already know that you big old faker._

Ok, so maybe Quinn had never fully believed that either of them had moved on, but there hadn't been any open admissions of anything, like in this letter!

_Right, yeah. I forgot how misleading and ambiguous confessions of love and long, yearning looks across the choir room could be._

Shut up.

Ok, it was official. She was cracking up. Not that that was new. She had been cracking up since-

_Yes?_

Since the day I left Rachel to satisfy my own cowardice, Quinn finished, defiantly.

_See? That wasn't so hard was it? Now grow a pair and tell her you have changed your mind. That you changed your mind the second you saw her face staring at you with hurt disbelief. Hell, you changed your mind before you even said the words._

Would you shut it? You sound like I left my ipod on loop.

Quinn's phone bleeped and the blonde leapt up to snatch it from her desk.

The sender was simply listed as *.

_May I call you? I promise not to bring up any taboos, but we have to speak._

Quinn bit her lip and then, with great caution, punched out her reply.

_Yes._

Within seconds her phone rang. Quinn picked it up and waited for Rachel to make the first move.

"Hi", a bright voice announced.

"Rachel". Quinn's tone was quiet, longing and a little excited.

"How are you getting on with the assignment?"

"Honestly? Love songs: not great for me right now" _Not great for me ever without you, _she added internally.

"But you always had such a lovely voice for them when-" The brunette cut herself off, abruptly.

There was a pause.

"Quinn, I know I promised not to bring anything up, but do you remember the honky-tonk bar?"

Quinn smile in spite of herself. "Girl I've been a long time but now I'm coming on home to you" she sang somewhat wistfully. "Best karaoke ever!"

Rachel giggled, but Quinn could hear the constriction of snot and tears.

"Shelby sent me a new photo of Beth!" she blurted.

"Quinn, that's fantastic. I bet she's even more beautiful now. She got the luckiest damn genes".

"Me and Puck? Really?"

"I used to think that she could've been ours. Puck's probably the closest we would've been able to get". Rachel was definitely crying now, and Quinn almost howled at the sadness in the sweet words.

"Well her scowl sure reminds me of you!" she quipped, desperate to lighten the mood.

"Are you saying you see me in the same way as you see toddlers?" Rachel teasingly demanded.

"I'm comparing the size of my feelings for you both".

There was a silence.

"Oh Quinn", Rachel practically whimpered.

Quinn's mix CD rolled on to the next track.

_It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long  
If I don't get your call then everything goes wrong  
I want to tell you something you've known all along  
Don't leave me hanging on the telephone_

"I got your note".

"I guessed".

"What have you told him?"

"That I'll think about it"

"Will you?"

"Not if you change you're mind".

"I'm not going to change my mind, Rach"

Rachel choked on a messy sob "Oh, well I-"

"I'm not going to change my mind because me loving you is not something I can change my mind about"

Rachel took a sharp breath. "So…"

"So", Quinn paused. "I am asking you, Rachel Berry, to spend your life with me instead of the giant Bambi".

Rachel laughed in sheer exhilaration, tears dripping onto her salty lips. "You have no idea how much I wanted you to say that".

"I most certainly do. I rather wanted to hear it myself! Plus, I too once planned out a life with Finn, so I can empathise with your relief as a fellow escapee!"

Rachel laughed again.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to be ok", Rachel said shyly.

"Oh Rachel, dream bigger!".

_Atta girl Quinn, _her gay voice said smugly.

Blondie's final lyrics sounded around the room as Rachel hung up:

_Hang up and run to me  
Whoah, hang up and run to me  
Whoah, hang up and run to me  
Whoah, hang up and run to me  
Whoah oh oh oh run to me_


End file.
